The Invisible Mother

The Invisible Mother

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel" ( Jersey Shore now:() I'm a car to order,  "Right around 5:30, please."

Some days I'm a crystal ball; "Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?"

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her  inscription: "With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
1.) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
2.) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3.) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4.) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it." And the workman  replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does."

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no hockey/soccer/piano/Scout/school meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't  want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom gets up at four in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, "You're gonna love it there!"

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know...

Sri Ravi Shankar How to develop our personality ?

Someone asked Sri Ravi Shankar
How to develop our personality ?

Sri Ravi Shankar:

To develop your personality, you have to spend five days to have these five experiences to really blossom in your life.

You can develop your personality with these five experiences.

You have to sincerely play these five roles:

1. The first role which I would recommend to you is to be a School Teacher.

To teach lessons to children who are not learning, you need a lot of patience.

Being a nursery or primary school teacher, even for one day, you will see how you have to increase your patience.

2. Be a Gardener or spend a day with a Farmer.

If you are sowing the seeds,

if you are watering the plants,

you will know how you must care for water, earth and the environment.

You will have a feeling for the environment.

You will value food and you will not waste food.

You know, what we do?

We bring so much food, and we put it in the fridge and, after a few days in the refrigerator, we throw the food.

We are wasting millions and millions of tons of food every day.

We should not waste food.

This we will learn if we spend one day being a farmer or a gardener.

3. You should spend a day in the mental hospital.

Whatever people talk in the mental hospital, you don’t mind.

If they scold you,

if they blame you,

if they curse you,

will you mind?

You don’t mind because you are aware that this person is mentally sick.

You know that many people are outside the hospital, but that does not mean they are mentally well.

So, in life, you come across people who blame you for nothing, who are jealous or angry, who say things that make no sense. Then, you know, you will have the patience to deal with them with a smile. You will not take the garbage inside and spoil your mind.

So one day if you spend in a mental hospital, you will know how to save your mind.

You will stop being a football of others’ opinions.

4. One day you must go to a prison. Maybe it is shocking to you.

You don’t have to do a wrong thing to go to a prison.

Just go visit a prison, spend a little time with the prisoners.

You will understand what compassion is.

What helplessness is.

Those people did a mistake without awareness.

So you will know how you must have a say on your emotions.

5. There are terminally ill people in the hospital.

One day with them, and you will realize how precious life is.

And you will start valuing health.

You will eat better,

you will exercise.

You will do all that is needed to be more vibrant in your life.

With these five days what would be the outcome? 

I guess from these five days you will become

More Vibrant,

More Alive,

More Loving,

Compassionate

and Active

Enjoy your Life

Sweetness of Sour Oranges:::::

He often bought oranges from an old lady.

 After they were weighed, paid for and put in his bag, he would always pick one from his bag, peel it, put a segment in his mouth, complain it's sour and pass on the orange to the seller.

The old lady would put one segment in her mouth and retort, "why, it's sweet," but by then he was gone with his bag.
His wife, always with him, asked, "the oranges are always sweet, then why this drama every time?"

He smiled, "the old mother sells sweet oranges but never eats them herself. This way I get her to eat one, without losing her money. That's all."
The vegetable seller next to the old lady, saw this everyday.

She chided, "every time this man fusses over your oranges, and I see that you always weigh a few extra for him. Why?"
The old lady smiled, "I know he does this to feed me an orange, only, he thinks I don't understand. I never weigh extra. His love tilts the scale slightly every time."
Life's joys are in these sweet little gestures of love and respect for our fellow beings... and in giving, not usurping. Not in money.

How important is it prepare our children ?

How  important is it prepare our children ?  

How  important is it prepare our children ?  

Future would be harsh on them.

Should we be harsh on them know for their better training? 

Following story explains how should we prepare our children .

Do Read... its beautiful. 

A man, an avid Gardener saw a small Butterfly laying few eggs in one of the pots in his garden.
Since that day he looked at the egg with ever growing curiosity and eagerness.
The egg started to move and shake a little.
He was excited to see a new life coming up right in front of his eyes.
He spent hours watching the egg now. The egg started to expand and develop cracks.
A tiny head and antennae started to come out ever so slowly. The man's excitement knew no bounds.


He got his magnifying glasses and sat to watch the life and body of a pupa coming out.

He saw the struggle of the tender pupa and couldn't resist his urge to "HELP".
He went and got a tender forceps to help the egg break, a nip here, a nip there to help the struggling life and the pupa was out. The man was ecstatic!
He waited now each day for the pupa to grow and fly like a beautiful butterfly, but alas that never happened.
The larvae pupa had a over sized head and kept crawling along in the pot for the full 4 weeks and died!

Depressed the man went to his botanist friend and asked the reason. His friend told him the struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae to send blood to its wings and the head push helps the head to remain small so that the tender wings can support it thru its 4 week life cycle. In his eagerness to help, the man destroyed a beautiful life!

Struggles help all of us, that's why a bit of effort goes a long way to develop our strength to face life's difficulties!
As parents, we sometimes go too far trying to help and protect our kids from life's harsh realities and disappointments.
We don't want our kids to struggle like we did.

Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Dan Kindlon says that over-protected children are more likely to struggle in relationships and with challenges.
We're sending our kids the message that they're not capable of helping themselves.

To quote clinical psychologist, Dr. Wendy 's Moral:

"It  is  Our Job  to  prepare  Our  Children  for  the  Road & Not  prepare  the  Road for  Our Children"